One Heck of a Ride
by Marriella Bullet
Summary: This is a spoof on the 'I am your father' scene in ESB. Very funny!
1. Version One

**One Heck of a Ride**

**Summery: This is a spoof on the 'I am your father' scene in ESB.**

Luke crawled away from the imposing figure of Darth Vader. When the Dark Lord spoke, he made a chill go through Luke's spine.

"Luke, you do not yet realize your importance, you have only just begun to discover your power. Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy."

By now, Luke had made his way to the end of the gantry, and was holding on with the only hand he had left.

"Not buying that!" Luke said, a-matter-of-factly.

"If you only knew the power of the Dark Side! Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father."

"You wanna bet?"

"Luke, _I_ am your father."

Luke simply stared strait at Vader, uninterested. In fact, he seemed rather……….board.

"Tell me something I don't know."

Vader lost his composure for a second.

"You mean, you knew?"

"Ummmm………………duh."

"How did you know?"

"Obi-Wan told me. You don't think I lost on accident did you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that if you weren't my father, I'd have already killed you by now."

Vader cocked his head to one side in consideration. Luke was getting exasperated.

"Dude! I was going easy on you! I'm much younger than you, in case you haven't noticed, and I didn't want to give myself an unfair advantage. I played it cool, and what thanks do I get? You chop off my hand! And now you are asking me to join you. Oh, the stupidity of it all!"

Vader began getting desperate. There had to be some way to get Luke to come to his side.

"Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny!"

"Uh-ah! Don't you try to get me to follow _my_ destiny, when you haven't followed _yours_!"

"What would you know of my destiny, son?"

"Now wait one minute! Just because you're my father, doesn't give you the privilege to call me son! In order to call me son, you have to be on the good side."

"I can call you whatever I want, _son!_"

"Stop saying that!"

"You started it!"

"I did not, you old bantha!"

"Don't you dare insult me like that, young man, you're grounded!"

"You can't ground me!"

"I can too!"

"Not if I'm not around!"

"Come with me, Luke. It is the only way!"

"No, I can see a way down. Next time!"

With that, Luke jumped, and as he planed, he was sucked into a wind pipe. It was more like a slide than anything else. Once Luke had stopped sliding, which was quite a thrill for him, Luke stood up."

"That was one heck of a ride!"

**The End**


	2. Version Two

**One Heck of a Ride: Version 2**

**A.N: Okay, so I've decided that I'm gonna make this my own little series of how the 'I am your father' scene could have taken place. And guess what!? The name still fits, cuz all these stories are gonna take you on one heck of a ride!**

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Vader slashed at Luke, trying to cut off his hand. Luke, seeing the move coming, tried to move his hand out of the way and Vader only suceeded in cutting Luke's arm. Not too deeply, but deep enough to cause Luke some major pain.

"Whoa, ow!" Luke said, accidently droping his lightsaber. The blue blade fell down the chasim. "Aww man..." Luke said, looking down at the falling sword. Then, remembering that Vader was right next to him, Luke tripped backwards and carefully made his way to a small place hanging in the middle of nowhere.

"Luke, you do not realize your importance," Vader was saying. "You have only just begun to discover your power..."

"You're tellin' me," Luke interrupted. "But the powers I _have _mastered are kick butt, man!"

Vader clenched his fist, trying not to get angry. He wasn't used to people interrupting him. "As I was _saying_... if you join me, I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this distructive conflict and order the the galaxy."

Luke rolled his eyes. "Dude, why don't you try someone who cares?"

"I am. You care about having peace in the galaxy, don't you?" Vader fully expected Luke to say that he did, but instead, he got a disrespectfull answer.

"Just get to the darn point, man."

Well, he asked for it. "Luke, what did Obi-Wan ever tell you about your father?"

Luke shrugged. "He never said anything cuz I never bothered to ask. Seriously dude, why do you care?"

"Well Luke, _I_ am your father."

Vader watched Luke as the news sunk in. He had no idea how his son would react to the unexpected news.

Luke raised his eyebrows. "Whoa, totall grossness man." Luke looked around for some way to get out of this akward situation. Looking downwards, he saw a way out.

"Well, uh... nice talkin' to ya, but I gotta go so, um... bye!"

Without waiting for a response, Luke jumped. "WHOOOO! What a rush, man!" Luke said while flying down. When he finally got to the bottom, he spotted his lightsaber, and reatached it to his belt.

"Ehhh... that was akward." Luke commented, thinking about his conversation with Vader. "Hm, I wonder if I can still get to back home in time to catch American Idol. That Antonella Barba is something else!"

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**A.N: Please review!**


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